Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Headache Wahala

I have a mean ass headache. I'm trying to just take a nap but I can't fall asleep. Maybe I should just take a pill. Any recommendations? What cures your headache? Panadol or Tylenol or abi u know some strange ritual... Please suggestions welcomed. Come on I know u wanna play dokito sef.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


Ten years ago, a new pack of pokemon cards gave my life meaning. you seriously couldn't tell me shit. I had a Charizard.

Ten years later, today, i still have that Charizard, but Pokemon cards don't define my life the way they once did. I have learned that like a new pack of pokemon cards, we are put on earth-- some of us as Charizards and the rest of us lowly charmanders-- to evolve into the great pokemon we were all destined to become.. 2009 was a year of substantial evolving for me.

In May, i graduated from high school... barely... i slacked a little too much for MSMS. And i am thankful those people tolerated me. i probably woulda been back at Holly High w/ my black hoodie hustlin hot cheetos and caprisans, 2 for a dollar. holla atcha boi. Thankfully, After graduation, i had around 11 schools across the US to choose from, all full rides, but i ended up at olemiss. . . .

i cant say i developed much academically at MSMS my senior year, but i sure in hell did grow as an individual. and i was a pretty naked individual- emotionally. i was clothed in ignorance , polished by unfavorable trends, perfumed with bad attitude- and how i stunk. i was exaggerating quite a bit. i wasnt really that kind of person. but the point is , i wasnt who i am today.

It was then when i became aware of how indifferent society truly is to us individuals.. That no one one truly gives a damn about you unless you show how much you care for them. would i be better off in NYC? or Los Angeles? ... how i really wanted to go to those places... but my teachers exposed the embarrassing truth through calm, but persuasive explanations .. "truth is ,no matter where you go, you still have to find out who you are and what your purpose is...." later i figured that a place like NYC would probably make it more difficult; you have so many distractions from 'yourself'- this hinders self development. you get me? but Mississippi is ok afterall , i guess... milk is cheap, big booty girls are plenty, and taxes are low.

Its kinda funny that its like this, but it's become evident: How we think people see us is how we began to see ourselves. those collected judgments become the self-image we work towards.. for example... somebody told Gucci Mane they understood him when he talks, so. he sold a record. brrrh. somebody told soulja boy his new shoes were tite, so he starts sellin them? lol.. ughh.

finally, i have learned that you aint NOTHING without NOBODY. imma say it again : NOTHING without NOBODY. i know the grammar is wrong, 'bt hlf ov yal wnt evn knw bcuz u tlk lke dis Newyz'. Everything i have or know is because of someone else. and there's not much i can do in this world on my own. Doesn't matter how smart people say i am ,how funny i can be, how handsome they say i look (lol)... YOU NEED OTHER PEOPLE to make it in this world. Respect people whether they are above or below you socially. FORGIVE and just let shit go...

remember :

Don't carry all that extra baggage with you on the road to success; it's not only emotionally heavy, but it mentally slows the trip. Negative people or other unfortunate events will jump out at you like rape charges on Rkelly. But you're too good to fall for this kind of stuff.. but When it's all said and done, you can find me at the airport. My ticket's been purchased- and I'm headed to the top.

Hop in your jets; start your engines...

I'll race you there

I hope you guys enjoyed reading that as much as I did. It was written as an end of the year note on Facebook by an acquaintance. I hope you can at least get something out of it. Okay this is lazy blogging I'm already so busy with school and haven't been able to be on here.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Farewell Thee Well

So I'm back to school. I'm excited to be back but I wish my break was a little longer. I just bought new laptop and it's nicer than the one I had before except the space button has an irritating tap sound when I press it. First day of classes went pretty good. I like the classes I had. I went to a funeral some days ago and I was pretty close to the person so I spoke. Here's what I wrote. I took a couple of stuff out because it's pretty personal. I'm not quite sure yet why I'm sharing this but here it is.

This is one thing I wished I never had to write. I couldn’t have imagined this happening in a million years. People die all the time but no one should have to pass this way. But what hurts me the most is that she had a life full of potential and the beginning of happiness. She wasn’t the best person in the world but was always true to herself. I don’t think I fully understood her ways till she passed. From the womb she was unwanted. Those who were supposed to take care of her and be responsible for her failed her. She lost trust in people and rarely let people in. She worked extremely hard because she never wanted to depend on anyone. It might look like she had a terrible life but she didn’t. Later in her short life she was able to meet amazing people like my mother, her siblings, her friends and her husband. She was able to let these people in and she let them love her. She was able to shed her exterior and be vulnerable with them. Personally, I will miss her. I’m still hoping that she’ll come knocking the door bringing us fried rice. I’ll miss the TV shows and artists she introduced me to when I first came to the US. Every time there’s an award show, I’ll always think of her. I’ll miss how comfortable she was with herself. I’ll miss the way she talks. I’ll miss seeing her in her different hairstyles and clothes. I’ll miss seeing the whimsical relationship between my mother and her. They had a special relationship I don’t think anyone can fully understand. She was full of life. She had a great presence. I’m deeply saddened but knowing her she’ll want me and all of us to stay strong.

Goodbyes are not forever.

Goodbyes are not the end.

They simply mean I'll miss you

Until we meet again!

~Author Unknown

The Broken Chain

by Unknown

We little knew that morning that

God was going to call your name.

In life we loved you dearly,

in death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,

the day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories,

your love is still our guide;

and though we cannot see you,

you are always at our side.

Our Family chain is broken,

and nothing seems the same;

but as God calls us one by one,

the Chain will link again.

If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

Gone yet not forgotten,

Although we are apart,

Your spirit lives within me,

Forever in my heart.

If Tears Could Build A Stairway

If tears could build a stairway

and thoughts a memory lane

I'd walk right up to heaven

and bring you home again

No Farewell words were spoken

No time to say good-bye

You were gone before I knew it

And only God knows why.

My heart's still active in sadness

And secret tears still flow

What it meant to lose you

No one can ever know.

But now I know you want us

To mourn for you no more

To remember all the happy times

Life still has much in store.

You'll never be forgotten

I pledge to you today

Last semester I didn't update my blog at all and here I am the first day of the semester already blogging. So proud of myself!

Today in my reading Islam class, the American professor was asking us where we were from and for the first time in my life I felt weird to say I was Nigerian because I might be seen as a terrorist. I'm used to the Nigerians are frauds or the Africans live in the jungle stereotype but now I have to worry about being seen as a terrorist? Damn. Thanks for the twitter feedback. I'm gonna stick with facebook and blogger for now and see how my semester goes before I join.

Monday, January 4, 2010


Twitter! So a lot of my friends are on twitter but I'm not. Social networking sites are addicting and I don't know if I want to get into any other time consuming stuff. I know a lot of bloggers are on twitter so I'm thinking about getting one. How do you like it and what are the pros and cons? Do you use your blogger name? Do you just use it to communicate with other bloggers or is it your real identity with real life people and bloggers mixed together? I think this is enough questions. lol. Your responses will be helpful and thanks in advance. ;-)

Happy New Year! Someone close to me passed away before the new year so mine wasn't so happy but I'm hoping two thousand and ten or 20-10 (as some people say) turns out to be much better for me. And for you as well!

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